Why Mister Scooty Boots is On My Sh*t List

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Don't let that sleepy kitty with a sweet face fool you. Mister Scooty Boots is on my Sh*t List. For those of you confused as to what the * stands for it's an i. I'm not sure if it's because he's entering his teenage years or what but Boots has been especially sh*tty lately.

THE LIST:
1. He woke us up in the middle of the night last week to tell us that his water wasn't FRESH enough. It wasn't good enough that we had changed it out the day before and had left two faucets in the house dripping. Oh no. He wanted a fresh batch of filtered water in his bowl. How do we know? He told us.

2. Also in the middle of the night he likes to oh so gently paw at our faces.
And without fail his paw always gets all tangled up in my hair. And you guys, my hair is not a kitty-safe zone.

3. And the last of the middle of the night stories:
around 4AM the other night he got under the covers and bit my butt! It wasn't enjoyable.

4. Jeremy got me some flowers for Valentine's Day and Scooty Boots ate all of them.

5. Jeremy got me some more flowers for our anniversary
and while trying to eat them Scooty Boots knocked the vase over which dumped about a gallon of water all over our kitchen table and floor.

6. Unfortunately, that litter box is in my office closet. Lately Scooty Boots has been refusing to cover his sh*t. I think he's trying to prove some sort of point.

7. One time I had all of my whites gathered in a laundry basket in the basement. When I went to go put them in the wash I discovered that apparently Scooty Boots was unhappy with our shared toilet/office space and decided to use my pile of whites instead. (Note: This could have been Dinahsuar but I doubt it.)

8. As winter turns to spring Scooty Boots is shedding fur EVERYWHERE. It's grossing me out and I can't keep up with all the brushing and lint rolling required to keep it from ending up all over the place. (Note: Dinahsaur is guilty of shedding fur too but she has her own list in the works.)

9. He likes to eat inedible things only to puke them up in the middle of the night (so, I lied - one more middle of the night story) - right next to my side of the bed.

10. He has this overall air of entitlement. But apparently that's a cat thing.

Okay, all of that said - I'm actually a total sucker for the cat.

 

Reader Comments

Ugh, so are mine. I came home this week to vomit, poop and pee all over the place. They're going to the vet tomorrow.

Isn't it crazy how animals can suck so hard sometimes, and you are still completely in love with them? My dog Caspian went through a phase where he'd stand next to my bed at 3 am, and jump up and down until the thuds/his nails clicking on the wood floor woke me up. He would do this every night, and it was never for any particular reason - just to say hi. Despite that annoying habit, we are still friends somehow!

Regarding number 5, my mom has had to start duct taping her vases full of flowers down otherwise her cats will knock it over. Not the prettiest way to enjoy flowers, but it keeps you from getting water all over...

Isn't it crazy how animals can suck so hard sometimes, and you are still completely in love with them? My dog Caspian went through a phase where he'd stand next to my bed at 3 am, and jump up and down until the thuds/his nails clicking on the wood floor woke me up. He would do this every night, and it was never for any particular reason - just to say hi. Despite that annoying habit, we are still friends somehow!

This cracks me up - I can so relate. My cats have *two* litterboxes in the basement, and I missed cleaning them one night last week...they immediately pooped on the floor in front of the litterbox. Wtf. (Although I've heard that it's good to have two litterboxes per cat...for me that would be four litterboxes. No way.)

Margie - Oh no! I hope your kitties are okay.

Alison - That is hilarious. I love that it was for no reason but to say hi.

Gretchen - Oh! That's a good idea!

Nadine - WHAT!? If Jeremy and I can live with one toilet split between the two of us so can the cats! Their litter box gets cleaned out 2-3 times a day. If we had 4 litter boxes we'd be spending all day checking & cleaning them out.

arrrgh.. I'm annoyed for you!! My mom's cat used to have these nasty temper tandrums and sing up a storm when her water was in a metal dish. As soon as you switched to the porcelain dish, she'd shut right up. She also took a habit of pissing in my mom's laundry baskets after coming home from visiting the vet. everytime, it never failed.

Cats are evil creatures lol

Oh how this list reminds me of my own cat(s). One of which likes to yowl at 3:00 in the morning as though he were dying, and who also vomited in our hallway (which I didn't see) so I stepped in it, slid 3 feet and spread the mess around. Vomit between the toes? Not nice.

I can't stay irritated at them, though, even when they wake us up at all hours.

DOM - Cats clearly have OCD tendencies.

Heather - YUP. Puke in the hallway has been stepped in on the way to the bathroom over here too. Uck.

yep, that sounds about right.

one of my cats loves food. and if he thinks his bowl is getting low (meaning it's only half full instead of completely full) he'll stand in the hallway and yell until you fill the bowl back up. he also likes to play fetch, but only in the middle of the night. i often wake up with a pile of cat toys on my pillow.

My favorite cat to hate of ours likes to vomit on the bed. Last year he gifted us a lovely hairball for Christmas morning!!ewwwwww

SO hilarious that you call your cat Scooty Boots, because I call one of mine Scoot Booty!

Ok Kathleen did you varnish Scooty's claws? They are nice and blunt, what is he scratching up and hope it isn't your furnishings.

Deborah - They're soft paws - little rubber caps that go over the nail! And he's most definitely scratching up my mid-century furnishings - which makes for a No. 11 on the list.

My cat went completely psycho at the last vet visit. She avoided her wellness exam and I ended up with a red line going up my arm and taking antibiotics for 10 days..Sigh~and I still LOVE her sooo much...

Merium - Oh no! Our vet charges more to see Dinahsaur because she's "difficult" to treat. I wish I could charge extra for my difficult clients.

Gugh.... so frustrating when they are being little jerks. We have two cats and I swear, they're trying to kill us slowly... nutso!

Hope kitty cheers up and starts behaving!

You have my sympathy. Our cat (Madeline) has stopped covering her litterbox deposits as well. She also has a horrible habit of going #2 every time we either 1.) eat dinner or 2.) have, um, an intimate moment. In an apartment with no doors (except the front door and bathroom door), the smell carries and ruins any sort of atmosphere. Oh, and every hour or so, she likes her kibble to be stirred. Sigh.

Amanda - OMG. Bwahaha. That's hilarious and awful. Oh man...

Wow, this sounds a lot like my two year old.

Hollie - Ha! Clearly I'm not ready for kids.

This post made me laugh out loud the entire way thru! So funny and so true. Every cat has such a personality. My cat Biscuit is a sucker for any mouth-sized trinket she can find. She will then take it to the toilet and drop it in, so she can watch what will happen and also get to play in the water. Yes! She loves water. Ice cubes, running showers, running sinks, especially the toilet.

Cats are hilarious. I love how Boots is trying to prove some kind of point... About point 1? Our kitten is quite content to drink from the same bowl as our slobberguts dog. In fact, she won't drink from the nice kitten-sized water bowl next to her food bowls, ONLY from the gigantic dog bowl full of slobber and surrounded by water that he slops out when drinking. I think, after reading about yours demanding fresh water, I'm quite happy with her doing this.

Beatrix goes to bed in the laundry room and has access to the garage at night. She gets a treat at bed time. If she is left out she will nibble my fingers until I roll over on my back so she can snuggle in my arm and across my chest. And also come back every 15 minutes to let me know she wants outside to play. Maybe you need to institute a bed time.

She also is not allowed on tables or counters so she cant chew things that are not at cat level. I suspect she gets on the counters sometimes when we are not home, but I think its just to do a dance and say nany nanny poo poo.

Seriously, everyone with scratching problems check out http://www.purrfectpost.com/
We just replaced the post part on ours because she wore it out. We were told when we got her she was returned to the pound for scratching furniture. She has not touched anything in the house and will come in from outside just to scratch this post.

Why isnt the cat box in the basement?

cats...gotta love 'em!

as far as the shedding fur is concerned, invest in a "furminator". it's a little pricey, but a thorough brushing with that thing cuts down on shedding A LOT.

hahaha...my fiance and i are forever arguing about dogs vs cats etc. we don't have one yet but i would much prefer a cat...hmmm not so sure any more (our family cat was totally "bitchy" but i thought it was just her and that all other cats were snuggly and lovely!)

I love it, I just read this list out loud to my husband. It's too funny, and our cat Pepper should really have a list (long list) because while she has us wrapped around her furry little paw, she is a giant pain in our asses!
Love kitty posts, yours are so adorable :-)

dude. this post cracked me up, so much so that I laughed out loud and forwarded it to everyone I know. Thank you. I don't have cats, but used to have two sets of sister cats (Sue&Deb, Maggie&Lula) and I know have a frenchie Stella who is one-hell-ova crabby pants from time to time. Thank you for this hilariousness:)

Ha! I was so glad to read this post. I feel like my kitty scout(za) is about to be the death of me! He literally goes in and out of the house at least 10 times an hour. We don't have a kitty door so when he wants to go outside he does that deep annoying meow. When he decides he's done being outside, he scratches on all the windows depending on which room he thinks we are in. It honestly sounds like nails down a chalk board. This goes on everyday all day and it's driving me CRAZY! He also has started this randon meowing in the corner of our living room, while he's meowing he spins his head around in circles and looks like the girl from the exorcist! Maybe he's the one losing it :)

By "Why Mister Scooty Boots is on my Sh*t List", did you also mean "Why Kate doesn't have a cat"? :)

Did you paint his toenails yellow? Looks pretty awesome with his grey and white fur!

You should get a fishbowl for him to drink out of - my cat loves it! Although I don't know if the fishy water is good for them..

amazing how these little furring, stinking purr balls bring us so much love and make us put up with them regardless of the extra work they require. :]

Patience - I find that boy cats seem to be less bitchy than girls. Boots can be a pain but he really is a sweet boy.

Kate - Yes. I'm renaming this post now. ;)

Kelljo - I laughed out loud at that story. I can only imagine what Scooty might be like if he were indoor/outdoor.

ThisTinder - They're actually Soft Paws - little rubber caps that we glue on his nails to keep him from scratching up the furniture. And yes, I picked yellow specifically to compliment the grey fur. ;)

The cat/water thing kills me. Mine is such a brat over fresh water too. Just saw your site via Rachel S's twitter. Always great to find a new okie blogger!

That sweet little face would have certainly fooled me! He sure has been up to some mischief lately...the incident with the white & the laundry basket must have been particularly traumatizing...yikes!

HAHA The "not a kitty free zone" line made me laugh out loud :)

Hope he gets his shit together soon! ;)

My cats remind me on a daily basis why I don't have kids.

I bought this pretty little ceramic drinking fountain for the cats. You have to keep it plugged in and it requires some maintenance (a fresh scrub and fur elimination from the motor every other week or so), but my cats love it.

That is funny I was just working on a post about what an ass my cat has been. Must be spring.

That is funny I was just working on a post about my cat being an ass lately. Must be spring.

this is a late comment but hot damn those are pretty pictures! what camera/lens did you use? the clarity and crispness is super lovely.

Leonard & Agnes - This was taken on a little point & shoot G10! It's a great camera.




J & K started this blog project to document the remodel of their 1929 historical home in the heart of Oklahoma City. It has now turned into a documentation of life, food, fashion, freelance, inspiration, design, adventures and details around the J & K house.

Kathleen works as an award-winning brand consultant and designer specializing in small business branding at Braid Creative & Consulting. Jeremy is a software engineer and is the left-brain to Kathleen’s right.

You can contact Kathleen at
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