Both of my cats are generally sweet, but each of them have evil streaks. Watch your bare feet around Ziggy because at any moment she may decide to just chew on your feet and ankles - ouch. Uzi is generally a snuggler, but has had many Dinahsaur moments where suddenly, without warning, the cuddling is over and he will attack without warning. I have no idea why.

and THIS, my friends, is why i am afraid of cats.

Naurnie - I'm afraid too! I've always been especially terrified of kittens.

I have two girls, a Siamese and an rescued cat.

The Siamese is my total sweetheart, I love her to bits and she loves me back but... she hates almost everybody else. Hasn't attacked anyone, tho, just retreats into a closet until invaders are gone.

The rescued cat is the most easygoing, gets along with everyone pet I've ever had. Only problem -maybe it´s a childhood trauma, dunno- you can´t pick her up, she freaks out.

We used to have a cat that pooped on everything. All the time. Sometimes vindictively (i.e. on my suitcase or next to me when i was working from home), most of the time just because she couldn't seem to help it. But I still loved her, even though she too had her Dinahsaur moments.

Now she lives with my friend & her husband. She has to be at least 11. They have tried EVERYTHING to stop the poops. Nothing works. It's hard not to hate her.

I blame it on the fact that one of her previous owners was from the family of "Running with Scissors". Yes she's a celebrity cat by association, and likely disturbed as a result.

I went thru the 'favorite but guilty about it phase' when hubs & I adopted a second dog together.
I have always been a dog person - and I thought for good reason! I loved my dogs, and I mean LOVED (no, not in the 'I dress them in outfits every day' love, but the 'connection' kind of love, like where you know each other's moods just by looking)
We already had Lucky Dog, our hound, when we decided to adopt Bama, a GSP. It started out alright, but then her OCD, velcro-ness, gotta have YOUR attention all the time started to kick in. And it was a bit over the top for me. I found myself gravitating toward Lucky Dog, and felt guilty for it. I loved Bama, (she passed away from congestive heart failure in 09) but I never developed that 'connection' with her.

But then again, she never spastically gorged out anyone's arm (or other body part), so maybe she wasn't all that bad.
(just kidding - we're just not cat people over here)

Glad your client is OK! (is he still your client?)

DINAH-BITCH! She's evil to the core and she loves it. Don't feel guilty.

My cat, Seven, used to be like that. I tried Soft Paws to keep him from scratching, but they always fell off after a couple of days. My other cat, Penny, is an absolute angel and I always felt bad having a favorite. My husband suggested I get them declawed, and I was against it until Seven would attack my feet from under the bed.

Ever since he's been declawed (just front paws), he has been the sweetest cat ever. It's been a year and he doesn't have the evil streaks anymore. Craziness.

Hahaha, oh my lord this post has me dying over here - you have completely described my two cats!! Does this ring any bells for you?...Fatty and Mr. Peepers

Ugh. I can totally relate. Until 4 months ago we had two cats, one was just the best kitty ever, the other... tolerable. Unfortunately the best kitty ever had cancer and we had to say goodbye, and now we realize that the tolerable one is actually a complete a**hole and the best kitty ever was a buffer for is a**holeyness. We've actually have been mock-plotting ways to off him. Maybe we'll get a Poinsettia this christmas!!! Or replace one of his insulin injections with bleach!!! Yes, not only is he an a** but he's diabetic and hyper-thyroid. We call him the 10K kitty. Or a**hole. Either one works.

I have 2 twin Siamese. Logan is the sweet, needy one that would like nothing more than to cuddle with you. Apolo is a jerk who constantly poops right outside the box and then scoots his ass across the floor. Bitty Girl, my little basement cat, is hyper and doesn't like to be cuddled. I had to give up my dreams of hand modeling, as well as knee modeling, because of her. However, when it's just me and her, she's a doll.

I am convinced that all cats are EVIL at the core. This is why I am a dog person. That being said...Scooty gets to me sometimes but its because he acts like a dog.

@Naurnie - ME TOO. I have never trusted cats. They seem to be plotting against me ALWAYS.

@Kathleen - Good luck with crazy-cat. Yikes. Is there a Cat Whisperer, you know, like a Caesar Milan of the cat-owning community? xo.

I grew up surrounded by animals and we always had over a dozen cats (farm... not crazy cat family) so I've always loved cats. Fast forward to me in my early 20s and I have my own place, get my own cat.. he's a cute little black kitten. then he's a "cute" cat... who PEES in the back of all our closets... (he wasnt fixed... mostly cuz i didnt have [ps just forgot i had this window open... 30 mins later...] a car)
so he peed and ruined a lot of shit. then he MEOWED ALL DAY LONG. for no reason! he also would not let me ever hold him.. he didnt cuddle AT ALL. except on my pillow at night... then once ran accross my face in the morning and split my lip open. AND when matt got our dog and i was not living with him... he met my cat and the cat swatted at him which resulted in a cut in our dog's eye (cringe) which resulted in a late night vet appointment and a hefty bill.
Finally when i moved in with matt, he was allergic so I gave Pilot (aka pilot inspektor lee) to a new home. that little bastard.

Duncan the cat. He was actually a fellow first grader friend's cat, until he followed her to school one morning and jumped out of the teacher's trash can... Duncan had to move. We lived in the country so he came to our home where his evil ways could roam free. I remember at one point he climbed my little sister and got his claws in her scalp. Evil. Funny, I remember that, but do not remember what actually became of Duncan the cat...

Hello! I really love your blog, but have never commented before... so it's funny that my first time is this topic as opposed to complimenting your amazing design work. We have a cat named Nasty Cat (her name was Nellie until we got to know her better), and she's just like Dinahsaur!

Next time I'll give you props on the design work, because it deserves it!

I have 4 cats. The original (Sophie) was my sister's rescue cat, but was only nice to me, so I ended up with her. I love her to death. She is also crazy and very nervous. Maximum 5 minutes of cuddling at a time, then she'll likely bite or swat and run away. She is unfriendly with anyone new and detests the other 3 cats. To her credit, the one vying for the alpha-male title bugs her to no end, so her behaviour to him is understandable.
I look forward to my little bit of friendly time with her--it's like our special time together. An ex told me that I was as neurotic as her. Strangely, I take that as a compliment.
When she was a kitten, my sister let her outside when she was too young and another cat attacked her, breaking her tail. She's still very touchy around that area because the vet said there was nothing that could be done. I think she must suffer from PTSD or some residual chronic pain syndrome. Something to justify her behaviour. She is, by the way, my favourite cat.

Had to comment because I used to have a cat (now my ex has him) who would, for no reason at all, bite me. Not just a nip but a full-on attack bite that would leave me with blood spurting from deep holes (which would, inevitably, become infected). I had to go to the minor emergency center twice (after having to get a tetanus shot). It was the craziest thing- he'd be sitting beside me purring then suddenly snap, attack me, and then look slightly confused and worried afterward so I'd be trying to staunch my own bleeding while comforting the cat that I wasn't angry at him. Codependent cat relationship much?

Dinahsaur is a gorgeous cat- maybe she's just meant to be appreciated from a distance?

Our cat is completely crazy!

We've had our cat since she was 8 weeks old, she's now four. She has always been on the skiddish side but she can be really sweet around the hubs and I, sometimes.

Every once and a while, she completely FREAKS OUT! I'm talking hissing, spitting, howling, swatting, stalking & snarling. Total Pet Cemetery! Not only that but it's all directed at the hubs and our dog. I can go right up to her when she's in freak out mode and pick her up and take her to another room.

It's to the point now where she just spends her days in her own bedroom. We even have prozac for her that she won't take (you try pilling an angry cat).

@Tomorrowneverknowsfashion-your story was awesome. I love that you named your cat after Jason Lee's kid.

Little bastards indeed.

We recently, quietly, semi-celebrated the death of Neko, the Siamese bitch cat from hell. Neko was about 15, I think, and survived that long on pure evil and powdered coffee creamer. She was the cantankerous companion my partner's parents got when their dog died. "I'm going to get a cat," his mom declared. "A cat that will cuddle with me and go to the bathroom in one place and not need to be walked."

Two out of three ain't bad, I guess. Now that Neko's gone, they're back to dogs.

Uh, I have a number of cats that were rescued by UNadoptable when from when I used to run a cat rescue group. The trick to not wanting to kill them is that they are like tiny kids who have their own issues except they'll never learn to speak english and you'll never have a discussion with them about their feelings to work through why they do what they do. So learning their limitations and triggers has been key for me.

And not being stressed about some of their asshole-seeming actions; typically they're cries for help or attention. Or they simply don't understand the consequences for stuff they do.

I have:

- a cat who chews on paper, even $20 bills or work reports {she was rescued as a kitten with ringworm and never socialized but forcibly medicated so she used to flinch any time I went to pet her, but she's sweet now}

- a cat who chews on wiring, including 5' of speaker wire, 3 sets of ipod headphones, 2 laptop charges, 2 lamp cords, a surge protector and many more!

- same cat also chews on wood (side table, base of Eames rocker) and metal (Bertoia sidechairs); strangely all her teeth have been fine {she was found abandoned in a basement}

- a cat who pees or poops on furniture when he's stressed out - thankfully this is now only once every 6 months, if that and not every single day; I had a naugahyde slipcover made for my couch; this has gotten better over the 11 years I've had him - when I first got him he would hide under the bed for 2 days if someone dared ring the doorbell, poor dude {he was being rehomed by a friend who couldn't handle him and his elimination issues so I took him}

I also have some borderline feral cats who were took sick to Trap-Neuter-Return so had to remain inside. With a LOT of patience and care, they've all come around really well.

I do also have a pretty normal but quirky cat who makes horrible meowing noises and got her at a time when I was fostering some troubled cats so I never bonded with her. She was pretty aloof and despondent towards me and I could never figure out why. I figured she was bonded to my oldest cat and just liked cats better. But one day, it finally clicked. I had never paid special attention to her. So I started working on it - on her terms. She liked batting toys, I made sure to greet her verbally and look at her when I walked in (or seek her out if she wasn't at the door), etc. And she came around. She was well aware I didn't have any special feelings for her for a while. :( When I realized that I felt like total crap.

Oh no! What happened to the rubber claw protectors?!

Can we have a week of just Scooty Boots & Dinahsaur stories? I love these guys.

I have a three inch long(quarter inch wide in places!) scar on my forearm from a bite by my old cat, Teddy. He was about to get in a fight with another cat, and I, 12-year-old genius that I was, picked him up. My arm got the brunt of his rage.

He was a pretty mean cat the rest of the time, too. Though he'd always come running and want to cuddle when I'd meow at him. So strange!

why have an animal you don't like? lol A lot of cat people say this. Cat's are so weird!! Glad your friend is alive and well :)

No evil cat here. We just have a neurotic, spaz of a dog...and an 11 month old baby. It makes for some interesting interactions. For example, yesterday my daughter was petting the dog. The dog was licking her face. Nice and innocent. Out of nowhere, he lifted his leg and peed all over her head.

Asshole.

I had an evil cat named Ripley. He would hide under the bed, under the table, under the couch - anywhere he could hide he would . . . and wait. He waited until you walked by and then he struck. Claws all over your ankles and feet. Every single time.

I have dealt with the same guilt for almost six years now... Our oldest cat, Big Cat (aka Bitch Cat or Big Big Bitch Cat) is just the same sort of horrible. I, too, would feel super guilty for favoring the younger cat (Little Cat), and worried I was creating some sort of self-fulfilled prophacy with Big Cats behaviour. Guilt keeps me from giving her away (though, who would want her?), but it certainly doesn't keep me from speculating how much livin' she's got in her!

Dinahsaur is my favorite.

HA! oh my gosh, that poor man. we are very lucky that both of our cats (gretel and lily) are awesome. they don't scratch or bite or hiss. they even stay out of our bedroom when the door is open (it's off-limits to them. i'm allergic). buuuuuut i totally have a favorite, and it's gretel. i think it's because i picked her out and named her. plus, she's hilarious. and the cutest thing i've ever seen. and all lily ever does is sleep.

i do feel bad though. and i sometimes dread having children because i know i'll pick a favorite.

Don't feel bad about picking favorites! Sometimes it's just the way it is. Our dogs get top billing in our house, mostly because it's just the way it has to be...they're helpless. Then of the two cats, my least favorite is completely insane...meows and howls constantly and randomly pees on things. Not cool. But I deal with him because he's adorable and I really do love all of the pets, even when they drive me nuts!

I feel so bad that I haven't had a chance to reply to these stories but you all are cracking me up.

Sara without an H takes the cake for evil pet story!

My Winston! I loved Winston! Winston was a beautiful Maine Coon about a year old when we adopted him. Winston would snuggle. Winston would purr. But Winston was insidiously evil. Winston scared the crap out of Ethel (our Boston Bull). Winston scared the crap out of my grandchildren. Winston scared the crap out of any and all guests. Winston put my 200 pound son in the ER with infected puncture wounds "...worse than a Komodo Dragon bite." I, however, continued to love Winston but I, obviously, was very alone. Many years later, Winston has gone to kitty heaven, and is scaring the crap out of the angels themselves. Earthly beings are relieved.

Your description of Dinahsaur hits a little too close to home for me....because I have the SAME situation! We have Styles and MIyagi. Miyagi is totally my favorite because Styles must be the long lost male twin of Dinahsaur. Everything you said about her, he is the EXACT SAME WAY. And I feel so bad for not liking him as much, but he makes it so hard to like him! Maybe Dinahsaur and Styles should ride off into the sunset together & live happily ever after...

I have a friend who's cat we'll call...Ms. McEvil. She will hiss and chase you down if you get near her. She's drawn blood from many a visitors trying to get to know her "nice side". There is no nice side. One evening, my friends were having a party and McEvil was roaming free (rare). An uneducated guest (who loves cats) bent down and whisked her into the air then cradled her like a baby. Petting and cooing, saying nice things, nuzzling her face. The music stopped, I dropped my drink, and the cat owners were so in shock they couldn't get the words out that serious blood was about to be shed. After what felt like an eternity (probably a few minutes), the guest gently put McEvil back on the floor and she walked away, dumbfounded herself. The party went on.

I'm absolutely terrified of cats. Next time someone asks me why I will give them the link to this entry.