Sometimes I don't even know that I'm scared until I feel the fight-or-flight-or-freeze sensation bubbling up from the pit of my stomach. The idea is that when animals or prehistoric humans were confronted with a threat the stress response was fight-or-flight-or-freeze. So no, I'm not being attacked by a lion or trying to protect my baby from a dingo but I am going through tremendous amounts of growth that push me out of my comfort zone. And with that I'm feeling the need to fight, flight or freeze.
FIGHT: I get aggressive and shitty. I buzz with unkind energy - directed at both myself and others.
FLIGHT: I start fantasizing about living in a cabin in the middle of the woods. Jeremy's out back chopping wood and I'm in an apron cuddling a little baby with ruddy cheeks and a white onesie.
FREEZE: Freeze only lasts for a few seconds at a time before fight-or-flight kicks in. Freeze is that moment where I find myself in a blank stare and wondering to myself "what am I doing?"
Obviously, flight is my favorite stress response method - because it pretends to be productive. And sometimes it is. But lately, when I feel the need to fight-or-flight-or-freeze I recognize that it's a symptom to let me know that I'm growing - that I'm stretching - and that if I can hold the position and stay the course for just a little bit longer I will be a better person for it.
Do you ever feel the need to fight, flight or freeze? How do you handle it? What do you do?
ha! As a fellow Kathleen, I totally feel you here. My sudden dramatic shifts between these three stages are pretty confusing to those close to me...
ReplyDeletewow, I have never commented before but this completely articulated how I am feeling, and your flight fantasy is nearly identical to mine ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the little reminder that its important to hold ground!
You have hit my Flight, Fight or Freeze responses on the head. So Great.
ReplyDeleteEspecially since you guys are having crazy earthquakes!! All my family live in Northwest Arkansas {Fayetteville} and they have been feeling them there.. Love the flight fantasy! Especially the baby with red cheeks! : ) So sweet! I'm sure you would have your baby dressed so amazingly! : )
ReplyDeleteYou had me at "unkind energy". Here's the thing, I/we actually DID move to woods. It didn't work if you're wondering. ;)
ReplyDeleteTo answer you: yes, yes and yes :)
Hello all! It's nice to know that we're not alone in this instinctual response - even though our pre-historic ancestors would probably laugh in our faces if they knew the kinds of things that stressed us out.
ReplyDeleteNicole - THE WOODS DIDN'T WORK!? Well, hell... I guess I'll have to find peace and contentment right where I'm at, huh? ;)
Kathleen, I totally love this post. I'm perpetually going through that whole "AwmeinI'm-in-college-and-life-is-hard-and- WHOAMI-and-WHATDOIDO?" thing.
ReplyDeleteCan I share this post on my college blog? stephens.edu/rudi is where it'll be, and I really think it'd be inspiring for my fellow college friends. I think we all go through fight-flight-freeze without really knowing what it is, and putting an explanation label on things sometimes really helps.
Thanks, Kathleen!
-Rudi
Rudi - College was especially hard for me. I totally know how you feel.
ReplyDeletePlease do share on your blog! Of course, credit with a link would be lovely. :)
Yes-- I certainly feel these instincts. When I was working on a big project this past Spring, the anxiety completely paralyzed me. I wanted to fly, and there was nowhere to go. It caused a lot of sleepless nights and less than brilliant work. I've been trying to find better solutions. I think that the feeling of anxiety often accompanies big growing moments (which are good!), but the actual anxiety is counterproductive So...I've been teaching myself to breath-slow, regular breaths- when I find myself in an anxious moment. It sends a message to the brain that you aren't in danger, and instantly aids in finding calm. Also: exercise has been helping me a lot, probably because it forces me to breath. By getting out of my head and into my body, I tap into a different kind of wisdom. My brain is often useless in intense moments, but my body reminds me that everything is going to be ok, and gives me new ways of problem solving until my brain catches up.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, that's what I'm working on. It's really helping!
*Laura
I feel the same way, especially with freelance. You never really know what people are going to ask for, but that's also kind of exciting.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to recognize that they're changes and it's just different than what you're used to, but you can adjust. I think I need to take that advice myself.