When to Quit.
It's been almost 2 years since I left my dream job as senior art director at my old advertising agency - but I can still taste the anxiety that decision left me with.
So when Ramona, an aspiring creative entrepreneur, emailed me for advice about leaving her current job for another job that is a bit more of a creative challenge it was a no-brainer that she should do it - but I know first hand how much emotion can cloud your perception when it comes to weighing the pros and cons to make such a bold decision.
I want to share with you all my email correspondence with Ramona where I help her break it down. Even though Ramona's circumstances are specific (and those specifics should be considered even when following your heart) I think it could potentially help a few of you who are struggling with the decision of when to quit too.
From Ramona:
Subject: Taking the risk to following your dreams or staying safe???
Dear Kathleen,
I have been reading your blog for quite a while now and you truly inspire me when it comes to starting your own business, following your dreams and the such. I am writing your today for advice as I find myself in a situation where I have to make a pretty tough decision.
So here's my story: I graduated from university in 2009 with a degree in International Business Management. I have been working as an assistant for the CEO ever since in a small company doing regional development and marketing.
At first I was challenged, had my own projects and was able to grow. But now I am bored most of the time. Yes I get a good paycheck at the end of the month, but I do not accomplish anything - I have to add that I am the kind of person who needs the challenge. I always want to grow and move forward. If I'm really in it, busy (in a good way) and challenged I become really creative and I work harder than anything. But I haven't experienced this in a long time. I have of course applied for new jobs in communication, marketing, events but so far nothing has worked out so far.
My dream has always been to be a freelance one day doing creative consulting and events and weddings and maybe development help in 3rd world countries.
I know my time to be a freelance has not come yet. But... here's the thing. I go to a church here and they opened up a public restaurant/café last October. It's seriously a great restaurant and one that's offering foods that do not exist in this region where I live yet. It's very stylish and always displays local artists and it's cozy and the food is truly great! Sadly, it's not running the way it should be yet due to lack of leadership from the manager. Last week the owners sat down with me and offered me the position as restaurant manager. They told me that they believe that I can manage and lead people, that I would bring a heart and a vision and creativity in it that could turn this thing around and make it to the place it could be.
Wow... I was pretty overwhelmed and honored and scared I guess. I have no experience whatsoever with leading a restaurant. Like nothing. Plus, I would for now get less money than I do now and my time schedule and everything in my life would change.
If I'm honest with you I have always looked up to women who followed their dreams no matter what. Who got out of their comfort zone and just did it. They were passionate and made it happen. I've always wanted to be that kind of a woman. I do believe that if I take on this job it would be one step further to being a freelance one day as I would learn how to run a business. It would be great challenge and a great risk. Yes, running a restaurant sounds fancy and I often romanticize everything in my life and dream a fairy tale. I do know it would be hard work and busy schedules. I just really want to accomplish something in my life. Not for the money or for fame, but for myself. Isn't now the time to be risky and go after my dreams and just get out there and do it? Follow my heart and dream?
I know I am totally writing you all this personal stuff and I don't even know you but I wanted to ask you because you seem to be the person who did it and you know how much work it is. Do all my thoughts make sense to you? Do I sound a little weird just telling you all this?
Love,
Ramona
My former life as senior art director at a really rad ad agency - it was a tough decision to leave. Photo by David McNeese.
Here's my repsonse to Ramona's dilemma:
Hi Ramona!
First off, I'm really flattered that you thought of me as someone
to come to for advice. It really means a lot! I don't have all the
answers but I have been in the position of making hard career decisions -
so I would love to share my point of view on it all.
Reading through your email it seems as if your main
hesitations to jump ship come from: A) Money, B) Lack of Experience, and
C) Fear of Change. I would like to address each of these and break it
down so hopefully it's a little less scary.
FEAR OF CHANGE //
I'm going to
start with Fear of Change because this is the one I know best. I
remember very clearly when I was thinking about leaving my ad agency job
to go freelance that I was most terrified of making the wrong decision
and stepping into the unknown. I was fraught with anxiety that I was
killing my career and for what? In hindsight, I am clear that there is no such thing as a right or wrong decision.
If you insist on moving forward in life you won't ever make a wrong
decision - because it just doesn't exist - but only if you use every experience as an opportunity to learn. Making a decision at all (and
then actually executing on it) is the hard part.
I think a nine-to-five job with a steady paycheck
provides us with a certain amount of security but the truth is things
can always change at a moment's notice. Consider this: what if your boss was
planning on closing up shop or letting you go tomorrow what would you
do? You would probably consider it a blessing and take the job at the
restaurant. The only difference is that someone else made the decision
for you. Be brave enough to make your own decisions.
LACK OF EXPERIENCE //
Along with
being afraid of change - I was also terrified of the unknown. Here I was
feeling like a spoiled brat because I was leaving my dream job for
uncharted territory. I felt inexperienced and had no concrete picture of
what freelancing would look like - and that was scary. This turned out
to be a blessing because it meant I could decide for myself what that
would look like. I think the same will go for you. You will be able to
manage this restaurant the way you see it. Because you have no
experience you may bring a certain amount of creativity and
individuality to the job that no one else could. My advice is to be
transparent and honest in this process. Authenticity will bring people
who want to help you succeed to the forefront.
And here's another secret I've learned in life:
Beyond a little bit of training and education, EVERYONE is making it up.
Nobody is born a business owner or manager or killer designer. You'll
figure it out as you go - and that's the beauty of it.
MONEY //
While I'm a huge advocate
for creative entrepreneurs doing their thing I'm always hesitant to
tell anyone to quit their nine-to-five (before they're ready) because of
the money issue. Nothing kills creativity like not being able to pay
your bills. That's just the truth of it. But in your situation at least
you'll still be making a steady paycheck - just a little less than
you're used to. However, it sounds like the trade-off could be worth it.
I think as long as you can still pay your bills the money issue isn't
much of an issue, for now.
Obviously, you can ask your employers for a raise as
you bring some life (and organization) back into the restaurant. But
more importantly, if your end goal is to work for yourself, I would
consider how your new role as a restaurant manager is adding to your
expertise as a creative consultant and event planner. I would also think
about how you could begin to build your business on the side. Put
together a portfolio of weddings & events you did for friends and
start charging for your services (even if it's just a little bit at
first). You'll feel that much more confident when you finally make that
leap as well.
IN CLOSING //
It sounds like,
for you, the decision has already been made. Quit your job and follow
your heart. I say romanticize the restaurant and hang on to that fantasy
- that's what will make you a successful (and happy) manager even when
things are tough. And know that this decision isn't permanent - when
it's time to move on again you'll move on.
XO,
Kathleen
What do you guys think? What advice would you give to someone in Ramona's position?
XO,
Kathleen
What do you guys think? What advice would you give to someone in Ramona's position?
Wow this post really hits home for me! I'm in the process of making that change myself. For me, it is really a matter of timing. I've known for a while that I needed to take the leap but I just didn't know what I was going to be leaping into and I didn't know how, what, where, etc. But once I was able to answer those questions and it sounds like Ramona has those answers too....it's just a matter of timing. And I don't know if it's possible, but how about testing the water and just helping at the restaurant part-time or something....that could help ease the anxiety.
I would say go for it even though it is a little easier said than done.
The best peice of advice I got was from Tim Ferris's book four hour work week when he asks.
1) what the absolute worst case scenario if doing what your thinking about doesn't work out.
2) On a scale of one to ten how permanent is it?
3) Make a list of the steps you would do to reverse the situation.
and then
4) make a list of the best case!!!!!
When you break it down like that you realize even failing isn't that aweful. My list looked like eating mac and cheese on my parent's couch for a month while I worked at a coffee shop applied to go back to school and start something knew. Realistically 1) that isn't too permanent and 2) You are capable and can figure something out.
So why not go for it? :)
I'm crossing my fingers for you Ramona!
Great post too Kathleen.
I agree with you, the best thing for her to do is take the job running the restaurant, while still working on her side projects, which will hopefully turn into a full time thing later on.
Would you have any advice for college students who are debating between two careers, both of which they love and could be really good at? Ya know, hypothetically. Maybe one of those is Industrial Design and the other is Writing.
I really like your blog.
Samantha
www.fifteen-seventeen.com
I would love to hear your sister's perspective on what it is like to weigh the options and make the transition to freelance. Daring Career Change + Kids = Often more complicated. Thanks!
I would love to hear your sister's perspective of what it is like to weigh the options and make that move from 9-5 to freelance. Daring Career Change + Kids = A little more tricky. Thanks!
I am all for people quitting their jobs. :) Even if it does mean making less money and having a crazier schedule ... it may mean you're one step closer to doing your dreams. I hope she goes for it!
This blog post could not be more perfectly timed! (It's Adrienne Wright, by the way) I actually put in my resignation last week. My last day is May 31st. I think we can all identify with Ramona. The key is knowing that your only option is to do something bold and work as hard as you can to land on your feet. We need to catch up some time!
(i've been sitting in the exact same pose as you in that photo for the past 5+ years)
Loving all the feedback!
Taylor - that list is amazing. It's a nice reminder that nothing is permanent. One decision isn't the be all and end all.
Samantha - Go for industrial design and write on the side. You don't need a degree to write.
Two Little Jays - YES. Kids change everything. I think for Tara it was having a really solid support system like her husband and our parents. While she was the sole breadwinner they still had enough income to scrape by. It also doesn't hurt that the cost of living in Oklahoma is so darn cheap that it's not hard to take a stab at becoming a creative entrepreneur and making enough to pay your bills. But anyway, I'll definitely have her pipe in sometime about what that experience was like for her.
Adrienne - WHAT!? Congrats!!! Are you going to dive in and do your own thing? I'm so excited for you. I would love to catch up!
Thank you! Well, sort of. I have decided to apply for grad school. I'd like to pursue an MFA in painting and drawing. But, I also see it as a way to grow my multifaceted business. I'm so excited to get started looking for schools and doing my own work. Any time is good to catch up! Obviously, my schedule is wide open after May 31st! Let me know! I would love to see you!
Like everybody else who commented above, I have to say that this post is perfectly timed! In New Zealand we have this terrible tradition of 'working for experience rather than pay'! Insane right! Because I am delving into something new (styling) I have been doing a lot of assistant work on shoots for magazines, all of which have been unpaid. The thing is I work my butt off, and my work load is ever increasing. So at what point do you say I have had enough experience, PAY ME!! Aghh I am so frustrated and angry at the moment!
Ha ha anyway thank you very much for this great post. x
It must be the lovely weather that has everyone thinking about quitting! Kathleen, I found your blog because of your "going freelance" series so needless to say I am in the same boat - i went from crazy event planning to tame meeting planning and while the new job is great in a lot of major ways, it's not that much work and it lacks that creative crazy spark, and I feel like I do too now. I was talking to my husband last night about seeing if I can do the meeting planner job part time and find something more creatively fulfilling to do on the side. But is that crazy? To give up money and benefits (in such an uncertain economy, as my mom constantly says) to do I don't even know what? I used to be such a "quit your job without a plan if you're unhappy!" person (I've done it 3 times) but for some reason I am struggling this time around. Age? Marriage? Impending kid-dom? My husband is in the same boat actually, it's scary when it's both of you. Our dream is to open a bar - and we'd be great at it - but it would take all our savings and there'd be no guarantee we'd ever make a profit. I think working part time at the corporate job and finding a part time creative job is a good first step. Did I just talk myself into this? Maybe. Any thoughts would be much appreciated!
Adrienne - WOW! That's awesome. Congrats. I can't wait to hear all about it.
Dashfield - That's so interesting how it can be a cultural norm to work for free! I feel like it's that way in NYC too - like "You're lucky to have a job (even if you're not getting paid)!"
Becca - Phew! I feel like you need a specific plan of attack. If you've already quit 3 different jobs with no plan it sounds like you're not really fulfilled by whatever alternative presents itself. It sounds like you're ready to be in charge of your own path. I definitely think the part-time option is a good start but just keep in mind that you have to treat your creative job like a 'real' job in order to make it work. I feel like we need to sit down over a cup of coffee and hash this out for you!
I think something else that people sometimes forget is that change is always an option. These decisions seem so scary because sometimes it can feel like you are making them for the rest of your life, when in fact if it doesn’t work out you can always do something else – go to a plan B, C, or D. Or a plan that is A+B, wherein you love job A but you supplement your income with job B until the big promotion. Or you can try plan A, move on to plan B, and sometimes go back to plan A if you decide its best. You can put a time limit on it. I will try job A, but if I’m not making $XX,XXX by X date, it’s time to move on. I’ve had over 40 different jobs – been an employee, a contractor, and self employed. There are no limits to possibilities. If you are motivated and brave you don’t need to have a job that’s your End Game – unless you really want it to be. My current job - I thought I hated it. So I left and I started my own business. I liked that. But I really missed my other job. 40 plus jobs in my life, and this was really the only one I truly missed. So I knew it was meant to be; after that bizarre realization I went back. I’m lucky I was able. But I’m NOT sad that I left. I enjoyed having my own business – I remember it fondly, and if I had never quit my job I might still be sitting here, thinking about how much I hate this job that I secretly love.
Alien Mind Girl - awesome comment and advice. I am in the process of shifting my mind set to realize that change isn't necessarily permanent, it's just the next step. Thank you for reminding me of that.
Kathleen - wonderful post as always. Truly inspiring and full of insight. Thank you!
What fantastic, heartfelt advice. Seriously you should write a book, Kathleen. You have so much good advice to offer and it's always so clearly communicated. Bravo.
I think your advice was spot on, Kathleen. You're very wise. Every time I want to quit my job and strike out on my own, I remind myself that it's really important to have the right foundation to be able to do that. I wouldn't get to be happily creative if I were constantly stressed about how I was going to pay the bills.
I think this post has re-inspired me all over again.
Thank you Kathleen for writing about my decision making process and thank you all for the advice and thoughts. I in fact did take the job!!! I'm super thrilled and excited! I will start in September since in Germany we usually have to give a 3 months notice!
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