I'm at that age where I'm consumed with thoughts of becoming a mom or not. There's a lot of weight that comes with the word "mom" - it's a job title that doesn't quite match my skill sets. And when I think about "baby" all I can visualize are paper thin finger nails, wobbly necks and sticky elbow pits. But when I think of Jeremy in the role of "dad" it just makes so much sense.
We'll see.
I feel exactly the same.
ReplyDelete(When I think of baby I also see all of the things I won't be doing anymore, ie. stopping for beer in a pub while wandering around a new city. ) For now, it's a 'no' but I'm fairly certain in the next couple of years we'll take the plunge.
Yep. And I have a nine month old. My skills sets are growing and starting to match up better if that makes you feel any better.
ReplyDeleteTrust me... nobody is ready to be a mom until they are. I didn't even know I wanted kids AT ALL until one day it hit me. Now I have a 4yo and 2yo and can't imagine my life without them.
ReplyDeletei never wanted kids either. i told my husband that when we started dating. but then i saw him with children. he lights up. i call him the pied piper of kids. well, that melted my heart. i did draw the line at one. but we are the happiest little family of three. i'm still not a 'mom' type even though i did birth a baby and am raising him and that's what he calls me when he wants my attention. but i can't imagine life without that little boy. he does make things that much sweeter. but i hated the infant stage. thankfully it doesn't last super long. and yeah, he can annoy me to no end, but his smile, his hugs, his 'i love you's' are just about the most spectacular moments this world can offer.
ReplyDeleteit's so much scary and wonderful and crazy and all these adjectives rolled together. your mornings with the cats sitting on the table, they'll be so much louder!
ReplyDeleteThat is such an adorable photo of your kitten. I don't know how to comment on the topic of being a mom but whatever it is you decide...we all support you!
ReplyDeleteMy son is 7, I am 37 and pregnant...starting all over again, just when things were starting to get easy.
ReplyDeleteAnd I could not be more nervous or excited.
I'd be curious to know if you feel these thoughts because of your age or because of friends who are becoming moms or something else. I am having similar thoughts and I think mostly because several of my close friends have recently become moms themselves. I don't necessarily feel ready myself, but I feel that these children have already changed our lives and now I'm second guessing myself. Do women really have that moment where they just know they're ready? Or do you just take a leap of faith and hope that you adapt to your new role?
ReplyDeleteBeing a mom is the ultimate in adventure. It is more risky than mountain climbing and more exhilirating than waking up in a new country.... it is the ultimate selfless act, to give of yourself for someone else. And then you get to take that cute baby to the mountains with you.. and teach them all you know about the world. : )
ReplyDeleteThanks, everyone, for joining in on this conversation. Sometimes I feel like everyone else feels so certain about having kids and say things like "I was born to be a mom." and I just don't feel that way. But I also can't imagine not having them either! It's nice to know that a lot of us are in the same boat.
ReplyDeletekathleen- i can completely relate to this. i feel like i would reach a point where i would be "ready", and i'm still waiting for that day to come. meanwhile, i'm also realizing that i'm not getting any younger, and i'd rather not wait too long... do you just jump in even if you don't have that ready day? or do you just keep waiting....
ReplyDeletethanks for posting, i agree, it's nice to know that a lot of people feel the same way!
your life will change. That's about the only certainty you have from being a parent. What you make of that change is up to you... and having parent skills cannot be achieve in my opinion without being one, and changing diapers and feeding your kid are the easiest ones to learn (ahem, patience after a restless night with your baby crying?). Seriously though, you will also learn new and exciting things, if you are willing to, like to fold the perfect paper plane, search for ants underneath big rocks, and love unconditionally. It's scary though, brace yourself for the ride ;)
ReplyDeletei am a new mom. my daughter is 4 months old, and i am changed in so many ways. motherhood was a rough transition for me -- postpartum depression and hormones are crazy. my life feels more meaningful now, although my old self would absolutely hate that i say that. i am surprised at the intensity of my emotions as a mom. the highs are higher. the lows are lower.
ReplyDeleteOh man - I know exactly how you feel! I've reached "that age" and suddenly my friends are popping out babies, and my motherly instinct (that I didn't know I had) is going into overdrive.
ReplyDeleteIt's a strange time for me, and I'm glad I'm not the only one going through it. I love the idea of being a mother, but I also love my independence. Do I really want to do it, or do I feel like it's the next step expected of me in life? Do I really want a child? Will I want to have one later? How much more time do I even have!?
It could drive a sane girl mad.
Right now, I'm just living life. One step at a time. If it happens by accident, I'll take it as a sign that the time is now. If it doesn't, then who knows? The future isn't determined yet. It's a beautiful (and kind of scary) thing. ;)
Kathleen, I relate so much to this post. I'm at a point where I know that I'm not ready right now, but I also wonder if I'll EVER be ready. Creating a person is KIND OF a big deal, and I think it's natural to feel this... fear of inadequacy. I hear many of my peers who are parents say that you're never REALLY ready and have no idea until you actually have a child. I am the type to research every detail about relatively insignificant things like a purchase for the home or deciding if I should paint the walls or trim of a room first (ahh!), so no matter how prepared I could feel to be about parenthood, I doubt I would ever be truly ready. But also like you said in a comment response above, it's difficult to image growing older with my partner and not having a child and missing out on that entire life experience.
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